A friendly divorce might feel manageable.
No lawyers. No drama. No extra expenses.
But when it comes to your mortgage, your equity, and your long-term financial well-being—going through it alone can cost far more than you think.
Here’s a real story that illustrates just how quickly an amicable plan can unravel.
They Meant Well. The Plan Made Sense—At First.
I was brought into a case where a couple had divorced a few years ago.
They didn’t use attorneys. They didn’t bring in a mediator. They went pro se—handling the divorce entirely on their own.
At the time, things were civil. They agreed:
- He would remain on the mortgage to preserve their low interest rate
- She would be awarded the home
- A payout would be made to him down the line when she was financially stable
On paper, it seemed straightforward. But within 18 months, it started to fall apart.
When Amicable Turns Unsustainable
As her job situation shifted, she could no longer afford to pay him what they’d agreed upon.
He became anxious to move on and use the funds for a new home.
She felt pressured to sell—but the real estate market wasn’t cooperating. The house has been sitting for months with no serious offers.
Worse yet?
Because of the amount she agreed to pay him in their settlement—and the capital gains tax implications she hadn’t prepared for—she’s now in a position to lose money when the house finally sells.
This wasn’t the outcome either of them expected.
Emotion Can Cloud Financial Judgment
Here’s the hard truth:
Even amicable divorces are emotionally charged.
And emotional decisions—especially those made without outside guidance—often come back to bite.
Most people I work with in these situations tell me later:
“I wish we’d gotten legal advice before signing that agreement.”
I understand the hesitation. Attorneys feel expensive.
You don’t want to stir up drama or make things adversarial.
But there are affordable legal resources available.
And you don’t have to go it alone.
The Bottom Line? You Need Strategy—Not Just Simplicity
If you’re considering a DIY divorce, don’t mistake cooperation for clarity.
Good intentions are no substitute for good strategy.
Before finalizing any agreement that involves the mortgage, the house, or future payouts—get qualified advice.